June 17--Day 65

        I was suddenly jolted awake and popped straight up in the bed to the darkness all around me. I had no clue what time it was, and I was disoriented as I struggled to fathom where I was, indeed even what country we were even in. As I listlessly crawled from the sweat-soaked sheets the only sound was the whirl of the fan above me; everything seemed quiet and peaceful. An eerie stillness hung in the room, somehow it pervaded my being and yet it wasn’t uncomfortable. As I silently groped my way through the blackness of the room and reached for the door, I smacked my foot on a chair. In that instant, as I let out a muffled cry I was consumed with the strange feeling that I knew exactly who stole our belongings. Somehow, I felt it.

"That son-of-a-bitch," I kept repeating to myself as I hopped out of the bungalow on one foot to the wicker chair on the deck. Even as I rubbed my throbbing foot, the cool salty air swept over my sweaty body and I felt remarkably refreshed. It was highly symbolic for I then distinctly recalled an Indonesian man on a motorbike who had approached us along the roadside as we stopped to figure out the correct direction to our destination. It was in the town of Celcuk (cell-chuck), a short distance before the now infamous town of Sukawati. The conversation now flowed through my mind, I could recall every word with poignancy, and I immediately slapped myself in the forehead for being so stupid.

He had asked where we were going and tried to offer assistance. We responded however with vagueness, feeling slightly uncomfortable with such direct inquiries--it wasn't him so much as traveling has taught us to distrust people until proven wrong. I knew now that he was the one who stole our stuff, he must have followed us from that point to Sukawati. Not only was it logical, but I felt it as some penetrating "truth." I don’t really know if I believe in the "truth" of such things, but I certainly felt it in this mystical place, this Bali. In that same moment, another "strange feeling" swept through my body, and nudged up to my ear and whispered that we needed to go back to that same point. We needed to go back to Celcuk. Startled by this intense "feeling," one I’ve never before felt, I searched for its origin, an explanation, anything that would clarify what was transpiring within. It was indeed beyond my comprehension, a "feeling," a discernible, almost palpable sensation of what needed to happen. Was this a new form of personal "intuition" or was it the tug of "fate?"

Was the mystical "Red Rock" calling forth from the depths of the rusty-colored sands?

I had no idea, but this "feeling" lingered and consumed. It penetrated my every thought and rang through my mind as if it was a simple "truth," and in my mind, it certainly seemed to be a rock-solid fact. In the morning, I told Bren about this strange "feeling" and oddly, I was actually filled with passion about returning to Celcuk—I had little doubt what we needed to do. Bren, however, didn’t know what to do or what to say, she was clearly skeptical, not of me or even the "feeling," merely about returning to this same spot and what it would actually accomplish. It did seem extremely illogical, but nevertheless, she appeased me and we rented the same vehicle bound for the same spot in Celcuk.

"I think we need to get out and walk around," I said upon arriving at the identical location where we encountered the overly helpful man the day before.

"Walk around where?" Bren asked with a bit of disbelief.

"I don't know, let's just walk around the town, I have a feeling that we should do this...really," I sternly replied.

"We're just supposed to walk aimlessly around town and for what?"

"I don't really know, maybe they threw out the bag here; maybe the guy on the motorbike is from here," I said, "C’mon babe, don’t make me feel bad about this, I’ve never felt this way before—"

"I know Bri, you’re right, but really, this seems ridiculous."

"You don’t have to convince me. I know it's all just a wildly remote shot and I was most likely in some delusional state last night, but I know my mind won't rest until we at least look around here," and I passionately added, "Bren, the damn thing jolted me awake in the middle of the night!"

"Okay, okay," she said rubbing my back, "let’s go scour this little town."

We each took a side of the main street and began walking along the berm of the road peering into the ditches on either side, searching for something, anything. I had only walked about 100 yards, however, when I stopped in front of an Antique store. I just stood looking at it.

Bren called out, "Did you find something?"

"I don’t know, let's go in this place and ask if they saw anything strange. Might as well ask a few questions while we're here," I yelled back to Bren on the other side of the road.

As she crossed the road she already began saying, "Bri, c'mon this is absurd, we're not even in the town where the stuff was stolen! I realize they may have disposed of the stuff somewhere, but this is really stretching the limits of feasibility--that it would be here or that any of these people would even have a clue about any of this."

"I know; you're probably right, this is crazy," I said as I began to turn back toward the Suzuki.

We both began walking back to the Suzuki, when I exclaimed, "Wait, let's do this. Why don't we spend the rest of the morning looking around here, then go to the police station again in Sukawati to see if anything has turned up, if it's zilch on both accounts, we'll just go back to Kuta."

"Alright, I know this is really going to eat at you unless we do something," Bren reluctantly offered, "but are you sure if we do this and nothing turns up, you're going to be okay with leaving it alone."

"Yeah, I think so, at least I'll know we tried," I ventured walking quickly toward the Antique store.

We made our way into the store and requested to speak with the owner.

A man of obvious European extraction approached and after hearing our rather loose account of the theft, stood before us staring incredulously.

"Excuse me a moment," he then said with an odd shake of his head and his eyes still peeled to our faces in disbelief, and he briskly walked to the back of the store.

"Don't go anywhere," he yelled from the back.

I looked at Bren who returned my look of confusion.

"Did I say something offensive?" I quickly asked Bren.

"I don't think so; if you did, I don't have a clue what it coulda been..."

We just stood waiting in silence.

Finally, he returned but now with a woman of possibly Indonesian descent by his side. We all introduced ourselves and they asked us to come in and have a seat at the nearby table. It had a mysterious appeal to it; they acted as if they knew something, and so we eagerly joined them at the table. Actually, there was a buzz of excitement, an air of anticipation that floated with every spoken word. Vivian and William were the couple before us, and they actually ran the store. He was from Belgium and she from Singapore. They explained that only 10 days earlier they had sold a very expensive item to another American couple; however, when the couple went out to their rented vehicle to retrieve the necessary means of payment they realized the vehicle had been broken into and their belongings ransacked. It was an absolute shock for them all, and in truth, they both still seemed shaken by the whole incident.

"What was it that brought you here specifically?" William then gently inquired.

"I don't know really, I guess it was just a shot in the dark..." I subtly offered.

"He had a feeling," Bren jumped in with a touch of sarcasm, "one that woke him up in the middle of the night and told him to return to Celcuk!"

William and Vivian turned quickly and looked at one another.

"What's going on here?" I thought, they definitely knew something we didn’t. In fact, it was obvious.

A few moments of uncomfortable silence passed when William finally spoke, "Well, we should tell you that we have not been back to this store since the theft 10 days ago."

"Yeah so," I thought.

"Well, we've only been here a few minutes today and planned on only spending a half-hour or so here; it's been painful to return," Vivian followed.

"Wow, certainly quite a coincidence," I said.

"I'll say," Bren interjected as we both chuckled.

Vivian just looked at us intently.

"I don't think so!" she then sharply replied.

"The last time we were here an American had their belongings stolen, partly because of us. We haven't even come close to this place in 10 days, and then today we return for a mere half-hour when you two, another American couple, show up completely out of the blue...all on some feeling you had," she said looking directly at me.

"I don't think it's any coincidence."

"No, it's no coincidence at all," she repeated almost to herself.

Even fully considering my unexplained "feeling," this seemed a bit much.

"Well, I'm not quite sure—" I was saying when Vivian quickly interjected, "There's more."

I suddenly had the urge to get up and leave; it was so odd I really wasn't sure I wanted to hear more, and it seemed that it was only going to become more strange with each passing word. My curiosity and pride in being open-minded, however, got the best of me and I resisted this growing urge. Bren, probably feeling the same way and instinctively grabbed my hand and squeezed it tight underneath the table.

"Because I felt so bad for these two Americans I went to see a clairvoyant on their behalf, in hopes of learning more about the incident," Vivian began telling us, "that's what we do here for insight into these type matters," she explained sensing our hesitation of belief.

"I am with you," William said looking at Bren and I seeing our obvious skepticism.

"I know exactly how you must feel about this, but after going several times myself it has provided some immensely helpful insights into the personal matters of my life, and believe me, I was as shocked as anyone."

Neither Bren nor I said a word. We continued to stare at them intently, completely rapt in this engaging, almost unbelievable, moment.

"The problem was that after I went to see her, the American couple had left Bali. They had checked out of their hotel and I was never able to help them with the information," Vivian said with a sigh.

"Now you two, another American couple, come along with the same problem."

"It's amazing, isn't it William?" Vivian said clearly bubbling with excitement.

I didn't know what to think. My emotions were certainly stirred by their vivacity, but I was no where near ready to make a commitment to the forces of the unseen intentionally bringing us all together. In fact, I knew at that moment the only thing preventing me from getting up and politely dismissing myself from the store was the weird "feeling" in the middle of the night that brought me here in the first place. I thought back about the reuniting with Jay and Lisa, and how I didn’t believe in the coincidence of that strange odds-defying meeting. Now this, was it that much different?

"Was it possible?" I thought as I decided to stay put.

"So, what do you guys think?" William genuinely inquired.

"Honestly, I don't really know, that certainly is an interesting story," I said with obvious doubt.

Vivian wasted no time, as she powerfully declared, "You must go to the clairvoyant yourself!"

Bren squeezed my hand, hard. I felt it difficult to breathe and began taking long, drawn breaths as a sign of my discomfort.

After realizing that she was completely sincere about the clairvoyant, I went back and forth...I desperately wanted by journal back and would take just about any path to gain some insight into its whereabouts, but this seemed completely over the top. I had never done anything like this before, seeing a clairvoyant. I’ve never even had my palm read, but without a doubt, the idea was intriguing. Back and forth I went further jostling the thought around in my head.

"What do you think, babe?" I asked Bren.

"Wow. It couldn't hurt, that's for sure," she replied, "and you did have that feeling, which is really freakin’ me out now."

"Okay, why not?" I said unconvincingly to Vivian.

She immediately jumped from her chair and soared into the back to make the appropriate plans, while William tried comforting us about seeing the clairvoyant. After calling, Vivian explained that the lady is usually swamped with people on her reading days, yet because of the sensitive nature of our situation she agreed to see us on her day off, tomorrow. Clearly, this had become a mission for Vivian, she felt that this was her opportunity for redemption, to atone for the theft outside their store. To her, it was divinely designed. She even graciously offered to drive us to the clairvoyant's house and translate the information. She felt strongly, in fact, she insisted about being involved in the process. There was no way she was permitting this heavenly created connection to dissipate without a "proper" resolution.

***************

After browsing through a small "mall" area in Kuta to replenish some of the stolen items, namely a new journal, we found ourselves once again lounging on our deck drinking tea. Our neighbors, Sandi and her mother both from Holland, joined us for what was becoming a nightly ritual as they listened intently to the day's developments with astonishment.

"It's truly amazing," Sandi said in her musical Dutch accent.

"Yeah, it was all so surreal, almost like it really wasn't us," I said in explaining my feeling and the fortuitous encounter with Vivian and William.

"It all just seemed so strange," I continued, "beginning with us going to the bank and simply throwing the cash in the rucksack which in all of our travels to Europe and this trip we have never done. Then, the various times I thought of mailing home the journal and simply didn't, carelessly leaving my camera in the back, the ‘feeling,’ and then today's mystical meeting with Vivian and William."

I paused, deep in thought staring at the gecko on the ceiling just above me, "it almost seemed..." I trailed off.

"Bri, it seemed...what?" Bren asked for the three of them.

"It seemed...well, ah…as if it was all destined to happen; almost planned," I finally replied. As strange as it sounded to say, it was just as strange to even think about. My mind wandered back to Australia, and the it now made some sense, those transcendent moments—Uluru, the Pemberton Tree, Jay and Lisa, Wave Rock, the old woman—began coming closer together. It certainly wasn’t something I’d ever admit openly, and I even had difficulty believing it, but I knew deep inside that there was indeed a pattern, and it had somehow continued onward into this place, Bali. But why?

"Do you think?" Bren openly asked us all.

"Do I think what?"

"Do you think it was planned?" Bren repeated upset that I wasn’t paying attention.

Bren stared at me intensely, waiting, but I didn’t answer. She then looked deep within me, probing.

"Well, as an outsider I have to say I can see what you are saying, it does seem that way," Sandi offered, then paused, "it does seem odd, especially after seeing how organized you two are."

We all sat still in silent reflection when Sandi eerily inserted, "Maybe it was just all fated to happen to you guys, I'm mean the stolen bag, meeting Vivian and William and now the clairvoyant."

"Yeah, maybe we are supposed to go see this clairvoyant," Bren said half-jokingly and a little chuckle.

"Oh, maybe she has something to tell you..." Sandi's mother excitedly offered, "something you are supposed to know!"

"Alright, alright...enough of that stuff," I quickly injected, "I think we are getting carried away now."

We all paused for a second, just looking at one another, sipping more tea, allowing the odd, eerie feeling to saturate the soggy night air.

"Well, one thing's for sure, Vivian and William seem to believe that this meeting with them was no chance encounter," Bren chimed in breaking the spooky silence.

"The strangest part undoubtedly is that feeling you had Bri, that really has me whacked out," Bren continued.

"Yeah, me too. Nothing like that's ever happened to me," I replied.

"I guess the question is, do you believe that people can see into the past and possibly the future," Sandi asked looking directly at me.

"Well...yeah...well...on a theoretical level I do. I do believe that people can tap into a resource or a different dimension to ‘see’ these things, but I do believe on the other hand, that there are very few who truly can," I said.

"Very few."

"And you, Brenda?" Sandi asked.

"I think the same, but it scares me!"

"Really, why?" I intently inquired.

"I just don't think I would want to know my future and then to think that someone has insight into those matters, well it just bothers me," Bren replied.

"I know what you mean," Sandi said, "it scares me a bit as well..."

"I believe!" Sandi's Mom jumped in enthusiastically, yet her face remained stolid. Another slight pause of silence then gripped the air.

"I just think we need to keep an open-mind, not offer any information, and observe how it goes. It's probably like a question and answer type deal, so I'll definitely limit my responses and see how it all plays out," I deduced.

"Well, just keeping an open-mind about it certainly will be the difficult part," Sandi interjected.

There was a pause as we all sipped the remainder of our tea.

"I think tomorrow will be exciting," Sandi's Mom said, "so exciting, you will learn something of your future tomorrow, something you need to know about that future. Oh, it’s so exciting."

‘Yeah, I'm excited and I'm not even part of it," Sandi said as she and her Mom got up and retreated back to their bungalow.

***************

Bren and I stood just outside McDonald's on the main street of Kuta, Legian, waiting for Vivian to pick us up. We were both tense, even nervous. I really didn't know what to expect, it was this unknown that created my apprehension. I have spent the better part of my life being educated, learning to think logically, being taught to ferret out the inner rational core of even the most inconsistent and absurd circumstance. However, the decision to see the clairvoyant seemed to lack a logical core; in fact, the truly logical pursuit was to just walk away from this whole matter and rationally deal with the unfortunate consequences of losing our belongings. I certainly realized this, but I also realized that this wasn't a situation where I could possibly find anything rational. I have learned that in life you rarely find what you truly seek without a fight, and it's within the struggle itself that many times you ultimately find what you seek. It was much more than a decision to just go and see a clairvoyant, for me, it's a decision that flies directly in the face of logic; it's a pursuit without a rational basis. So, it is a fight against the logical side of myself, it's the struggle to follow my heart into the foreboding land of the obscure without the aid of what I rely on most in my life, logic.

Vivian arrived and we were off to the home of the clairvoyant, Eebu. Vivian rabidly discussed yesterday's events and our fortuitous encounter the entire way. She was bounding with exhilaration, she was a ball of raging energy. I was nervous, I was skeptical.

I looked out at the lush landscape, the green, the layered rice fields of Bali as we bounced along in her old truck.

"Have I given up rational thought because of a pathetic irrational fear of letting go of the journal. Maybe I'm afraid of facing life without the journal, of having to start over," I wondered, "oh, what have I done."

The feeling of claustrophobia gripped my body, "I need to get out of this ludicrous situation, what the hell was I thinking?"

I looked out the window, Vivian and Bren were chatting away about Bali, and I took a deep breath. I sensed the essence of the struggle. I faced it.

I remembered, ironically enough, the Pemberton Tree.

"I know this is a matter of the heart, not logic, I could feel that it was okay to let go of the logical mind which constrained my heart. Keep an open-mind," I said trying to convince myself.

"Are you alright?" Vivian asked peering at me suspiciously.

"Yeah, I'm just struggling with this whole thing," I softly replied.

"I can tell you, Brian, that people come from all over Indonesia to see this woman. On her reading days, the place is absolutely packed with people, and most know they will never get in to see her. They just keep coming back. We are extremely fortunate. Really."

After a pause of reflection, and a break in the traffic, she turned back around to face Bren and me, "She has helped me immensely time and time again, and I think she'll at least be able to point you in the right direction. You wait, you will see!"

We arrived at the home, walked into a small courtyard and sat on a bench to wait. Shortly, Eebu walked casually toward us, she was an older woman, in her 60s, and she had just showered and dressed in typical Indonesian garb. She was unassuming, and she looked directly at me and smiled. I returned the smile upon our introduction and she then bent her head downward to both of us out of respect. We returned the head nod and bow, and were escorted up a short set of stairs where we took off our shoes and entered a small room. The single rectangular room, about 10 feet long and 6 feet wide, was the entire structure. There were no religious icons at all, the walls were undecorated, but in the corners were piles of offerings from the masses that had come seeking her advice. We added to the pile with an offering of our own, which Vivian prepared for us, and we had added at Vivian's behest a couple packs of cigarettes. She received no money for her time, and it was completely at our discretion what to offer. Indeed, when I found out she didn't take money for her services, it felt as if a massive weight had been removed. The single largest factor for being skeptical was the pursuit of economic gain, and it was eliminated before we even began.

She sat by the only window in the place in front of a small wooden table, and she encouraged us to pull three stools up close to the table in a line stringing across the width of the building. Vivian was the closest, with Bren in the middle, and I sat on the end the furthest from Eebu. Bren handed her the offering, which she freely took and without even looking in, stood up and placed it on the top of the pile. She glanced to us and again smiled, and then nodded in thanks. She was comforting. I felt much more comfortable than I'd ever imagined. I could see in her strong face that she was doing what she believed in. That was extremely reassuring; I knew she was at least genuine.

She lit a cigarette and pulled out a small, old deck of playing cards (a deck for playing some type of Indonesian game). She then lit some incense and walked around the small room spreading the aroma throughout the cramped interior.

"She's blessing the room," Vivian explained.

She sat back down, puffed on her cigarette again, and began to shuffle the cards subtly mumbling our names over and over. This little place without the hint of decoration had an overwhelmingly mystical feel to it. It exuded something, something beyond the energy of Bali, there was something more. I felt dizzy, my body felt light. I was riddled with nervous adrenaline, and yet I was cogent and perfectly lucid. She then began to place the cards in rows, face down. She took the incense out of the vase and again blessed the cards. Then it started.

Eebu instantly began spouting information to Vivian, she gazed intently at each card she overturned and moved it systematically to one of four piles. She never removed her eyes from the cards, never looked to see our reaction; she just kept staring at the cards and talking. The information came in a constant stream. In fact, Vivian barely had a chance to translate it all into English, it was coming so fast. Vivian finally had to ask Eebu to pause so that she could translate which she kindly did.

"Well, it's all coming so fast, but what she is saying is that your bag was not stolen, it fell out of some type of vehicle," Vivian said as Eebu continued.

"Okay," I thought, "that's absolutely flat-out wrong, I know those bags didn't just fall out of the Suzuki...this is hokey. Let's get out of here. I tried it, and it didn't work."

It was a bit of a relief actually as I thought about getting up and leaving. I looked at Bren who was still staring intently at the cards in wonder. I was ready to go, until I looked back at Eebu, who still had never removed her eyes from the cards. She was stoic and extremely serious. At a minimum, it wasn’t an act, I was confident of that as Eebu began moving the cards around again.

"Didn't she catch that?" I was thinking looking at Bren, when Vivian said, "NO! Now she says that they were stolen, in fact, by two men. One is from Java and the other from here in Bali."

"She wants to know if there was a general market nearby?" Vivian asked as Eebu paused for the reply. It was the first time she had looked up.

"Yes," Bren sternly replied.

"She also wants to know if there was a police station nearby to the market?" Vivian then followed.

Bren looked at me startled. Then, she nodded to me as if I had to confirm it, "Why yes, it's actually right next to the market."

Eebu then unemotionally reshuffled the cards. She focused completely on the cards, never even looking in our direction.

"She said that she has the picture of what occurred but she'll now reshuffle to get the details before continuing," Vivian explained.

I was intrigued, undoubtedly, but "There are lots of markets and police stations around," I thought skeptically.

"Maybe they’re both in on this," I thought scrutinizing the clairvoyant’s story so far, and I began to doubt the whole scene that was unfolding before me.

"It’s possible Vivian could have told her all this information."

Eebu took a few more puffs on her cigarette, lit more incense and began mumbling our names once again. It came immediately.

"Both participants are male," Vivian began in the translation, "they were on a motorbike, like the type usually seen around here."

I popped straight up on the stool. That got my attention, for I didn't tell anyone except Bren about the guy on the motorbike.

"One of the men lives near the place where your bags were stolen," Vivian continued, "and she wants to know if you were driving a small truck of some sort?"

That hit me, "Wow, now that's pretty convincing," I was thinking as Bren answered in the affirmative.

Vivian immediately smacked us with yet another detail, "The men cooperated and followed you from a previous point on the motorbike and then when you stopped, they broke into this small truck and took your bags."

Eebu quickly flipped the cards, "Many people saw these two men take your bags but were afraid to say anything," Vivian was explaining.

"I knew it!" I was passionately saying to myself as I realized that I had incidentally taken her statements as true.

"BUT, these two men didn't keep the bags..." Vivian said as Eebu began to reshuffle once more. I took a deep breath, "Could she really be able to ‘see’ this stuff, the entire incident?" I thought. I was caught, she didn’t ask for money, she’s asked one question of us directly, she hasn’t looked at Bren or myself to check body language, and she’s come up with information only we knew. My mind was clear, but still I felt confused.

"She says that she believes that there was more than one bag taken but she is asking what exactly it is you want to know about?" Vivian hastily inquired to keep up with the fast-shuffling prophet.

I was stunned by her accuracy, and although I held staunchly to my skepticism I began to bubble with excitement.

"The journal, my journal is all we really care about!" I was stammering as Eebu was laying out the third round of cards. Truly, I couldn't wait and I leaned in toward her and watched every card being flipped.

She overturned a few cards without a word, then it all flowed once again.

"The two men grabbed the bags and quickly took what it was they wanted. They knew what they wanted before they took the bags, she said. Oh, Oh, she is telling me that they then threw the bags away on the side of the road less than 3 kilometers from the point of the theft and it's just past the police station!"

"This is absolutely incredible. God, I can't believe it," I thought as I was frantically writing the details into my new journal.

"Another man has picked up the bag you seek. It has your passports, a few books, and your journal in it," Vivian was relaying, when she hit me with the kicker, "this man really, really likes your bag!" As Vivian was saying it, Eebu for first time looked up from the cards to me; she gave me a smile and nodded her head up and down, reaffirming the point.

I couldn't even write. I just sat there slouching on the stool, shocked and dazed. No one knew about our bag. Not only did no one know what items were in the bag, no one knew that the bag was made entirely of genuine leather. Indeed, I bought it at a special leather market, as it was one of the nicest bags I'd personally ever seen. Those words, those prophetic words that left her mouth sent chills up and down my spine. They were details that couldn't possibly be known without intimate knowledge, which only we knew, and they were certainly not details one would focus on in describing the event or if it was some massive hoax.

"No one knew about that bag," I just kept repeating over and over in my head.

"Are we ready to continue?" Vivian asked Bren and me.

Stunned, I could only nod.

"Well, this man who has your bag, he is not very bright (in fact Eebu says that he's stupid), he's a woodcarver and he makes his stuff at home and sells it at this market nearby," Vivian continued.

"Listen," Vivian then insisted, "she said that he is very scared, he doesn't know what to do with your bag. He's shaken, but he likes your bag very much. He wants to keep it. She thinks that you must be very patient about trying to retrieve it because he is so scared. She says that you will have only five days to get it back or she fears he will destroy it all, possibly by burning it. He will keep the bag!"

That was it. She gathered the cards and placed them back into a stack sitting them on the table in front of her. She looked up at our flabbergasted faces, and lit another cigarette with a smile.

"She wants to know if that helps," Vivian asked.

"Are you kidding me that’s absolutely incredible, yeah that helps," I blurted out now fully consumed with awe.

Vivian laughed and told Eebu, who also laughed.

I think I really believed her, I did know that I trusted her. I could plainly see this lady was not ripping anybody off, and she couldn't possibly have rattled off that information so quickly, even if she knew it cold. And she knew information that we were only privy to, information so detailed that I couldn’t explain it, except that I knew it wasn’t some complex ploy.

I became bold with curiosity.

"Vivian, can you ask her something for me personally. I have always felt that there is a path in life I was destined to find, one that I am now struggling with, can she provide any insight?" I asked.

Bren looked over at me out of the corner of her eyes and smiled.

I felt nervous and faint; I knew on some transient level, something would come of this, and just as I sought it out, it lurked, hidden waiting to pounce. I actually dreaded asking the question, but much like the "feeling" it just seemed to flow from my lips with a will entirely of its own.

Vivian asked Eebu, who turned and looked at me and gave me a nod as if she was saying, "As you wish." She lit more incense and picked the cards back up. She shuffled them continuously for a prolonged time concentrating on the cards themselves, she blessed them, and began chanting my name over and over. Eebu seemed determined; she was noticeably different than the reading for the bags. Somehow, she was more focused, her trance deeper. My palms covered in sweat as I nervously rubbed them together, my legs shook up and down anxiously and my eyes were glued to those cards. I felt much like I did with the Bar Exam sitting on the table in front of me—waiting, as the minutes became seconds just before the bell rang to begin. I was bursting with anxiety. I wiped the perspiration from my forehead and it began.

"Ahhh," Eebu said immediately upon moving the first few cards and looked up at me. I tensed.

"Well, Eebu says that you are being tested. That is why the bags and your journal in particular, were taken from you," Vivian relayed.

"Tested by whom?" I asked Vivian.

"By God," Eebu said in rough English and a hearty laugh.

I froze. First, I didn't know that she understood English and second, that God was testing me. I smiled back and nervously chuckled. No one said a word and Bren just stared at me like I had a disease of some kind.

Eebu spoke to Vivian, and then Vivian said, "She explained that she can understand a very small amount of English...basic words."

Eebu then went back to the cards, moving them around quicker and quicker.

"The test began about 10 days ago when you were in another country," Vivian continued to relay.

"Prior to the theft of the bags, events have occurred that have been a part of this test..."

"Well, what am I being tested for?" I wondered aloud to Vivian, still a bit skeptical but utterly consumed, entranced with her every word.

"She says that the test concerns your reactions to these events, and specifically, you are being tested for patience," Vivian finally said.

That last part, that I was being tested for patience, rocked my world and shook me to my most inner core. It instantly nullified my emotions, my spirit, and all I could think of was, "God is testing my patience!"

As I stared off, I quickly reflected on all the asinine times I was hasty and quick to judge, "Surely I’ve flunked it already—" I thought.

"Bri, Bri, are you okay?" Bren was asking. I didn't hear her. I just couldn't believe it. If I had to choose one element of my personality which needed to be cultivated; if there was one thing I needed to learn in life; if there was one thing I would indeed believe I was being tested by anyone or even God...it was patience.

"Dammit, I can't believe this!" I thought repetitively.

"This wasn’t your first test, you have had others, but this will be for you the most difficult," Vivian again relayed.

"She says that you already knew much of this, you were just afraid--" Vivian said and after clearing her throat, "afraid to have faith."

I slipped back into my daze, clouded by that word, "faith." It sprung forth yet again into my life, it surged forth into my being. And as much as I distinctly desired to leave, to brush off this entire day, this experience, I couldn’t. On some level, deep inside, I knew she was right. Like the ‘feeling’, I just knew.

"Bri, are you okay? C’mon, Bri," Bren was still asking while shaking my arm, "Bri, Bri."

"Oh...Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about what is happening here. Oh," I said totally flabbergasted, "it's just unbelievable!"

"Yeah...it is!" Bren gingerly replied trailing off afraid to say anything more.

Eebu, probably sensing my disoriented condition took her time shuffling the deck, and began to tell us about how it was that she became clairvoyant. She deftly turned my attention away from her vision and onto her "real" life. She explained that she and her husband were a bit of the gambling type, and they had run themselves into debt and foreclosure on their home was imminent. They had allowed their home to fall into disrepair and specifically their private temple. It is part of Indonesian tradition to have a separate building devoted to God or Gods (depending on their particular belief system), but implied community standards dictated that it be kept clean and in good condition. Eebu's was not. She laughed saying, "I just didn't believe it to be important and the entire community was angry with me."

One night as foreclosure approached, she said that an apparition of an elderly man came to her and told her that should she show the proper respect for God by restoring the temple, she would be rewarded. She listened and spent the remainder of their money cleaning up the small temple in front of the house. They were absolutely broke; in fact, she said they had no money to even eat. She waited without hearing from or seeing the elderly gentlemen for a couple weeks; however, there was no sign of him. The day before the house was to be foreclosed on, a monk mysteriously approached her in the market and handed her an envelope and walked away, never to be seen again by Eebu. The envelope contained enough money to prevent the foreclosure. Even more astonishing was that in the middle of the night, Eebu said that the apparition appeared again and told her that a gift of clairvoyancy had been bestowed upon her. "Use it wisely," the old man cautioned. She has never seen the apparition of the old man since.

As time passed she explained that she perfected the method of "seeing things," and that the cards only serve to help her focus. Now, she does readings for people free. She said that she relies instead on God's will to provide money when it's needed, "It just comes when I am in need," Vivian relayed. She relies on the example established by the apparition of the old man.

"She says that she knows that she's been touched by the hand of God, and people that are in need of her assistance are brought to her, sometimes by the strangest of circumstances," Vivian relayed as Eebu was staring intensely at me. I was beginning to feel completely overwhelmed. So many downright strange things were happening, seemingly all at once, and I was frantically losing my sense of judgment. And now this all was moving into a realm with the influence of "God" behind it. Her stare, those gentle-looking eyes focused on me as she said, "I’ve been touched by the hand of God." I looked to the cement floor and wiped my face with my hands, suddenly I was sitting on needles and became fidgety. I didn't know if her story of discovering her clairvoyancy was true, but I knew she was a genuine person and, without a doubt in my mind, I felt she was telling the truth as far she knew it. That's what made it terrifying. I couldn't just dismiss it. So many bizarre things were occurring, and much of it was unexplained by the natural forces of nature that I have grown so accustomed. It was uncomfortable.

Indeed, I felt uncomfortable.

Eebu went on explaining her clairvoyancy for nearly another hour. We all just sat and listened intently. It was remarkable, especially as she began with an almost "all-knowing" voice to religiously document that we as humans are all in this together. One theme she would return to and repeat with conviction was that, "The different religions of the world are not distinctly separate, but it is we as humans that make it so. There is no exclusivity to realm of heaven and God," she pronounced.

This woman who had no formal education, a woman who had lived in rural Bali her entire life and yet she boggled my mind with such complex thoughts. She was a simple, plain woman, yet she undoubtedly possessed a profound insight into life. She seemed to just know, but most importantly, she didn't act like she knew. I thought back to Aponu, and how he gave me the same impression. How did they just know? Where did this fountain of wisdom originate, what was its source? It certainly didn’t come from their environment, their culture, or even circumstance. She made me feel distinctly as if she just knew these things, it was almost as a matter of fact, and she did it without the slightest hint of pretension. I knew one thing at that moment, that Eebu was indeed a special lady whether it turns out that I believed anything personally, I knew at least that. I knew that she was touched by something beyond, beyond what I knew to be "normal," perhaps beyond even what I knew or understood in this realm. I knew it deeply, and just as Mary had that unwavering "faith" in me, that belief, I did in Eebu. It just seemed, it felt, "right." It was such a simple yet profound "truth."

As quickly as she had departed from the reading and without slightest hint of a warning, she then returned. She reshuffled the deck once again, lit more incense, which had burned completely down and started blessing the cards. At this point, I really didn't know what to think, I didn't know what to feel. So much had come at me, so fast, I really couldn't digest it. I was paralyzed and numb, tight. So, I sat up on the stool, trying to straighten my aching back, when the first words out of her mouth knock me right back into that black hole of the unknown.

"This is one of many life cycles for you, she can see them clearly, you are a reincarnated soul of many past lives," Vivian was relaying with astonishment. Eebu never removed her eyes from the cards, and continued to move them around. As blatantly shocked as I was, it didn't faze her in the least. She stayed engrossed with the cards, the vision.

"One of your most important cycles occurred about 400 years ago," Vivian said. It hit me like a ton of bricks, all pressing on top of me at once. I couldn't even think, I struggled to breathe and I just sat in a cloud of haze, bewildered and confused.

"She has some details for you on that past life...you were female, a strong person who never married, and you were of Christian faith. You helped many people during that time; you were a figure in the community of some kind...she's not sure if it was religious in nature however," Vivian conveyed.

Still Eebu concentrated fully on the cards.

Vivian continued, "She says that she knows your name in that life, do you want to know it?"

"Get the hell out of here?" I was literally thinking when Vivian said, "It was Leoine Claudia!"

The ton of bricks caved in on me.

"God, I don't know what I believe anymore," I said surging back and forth emotionally through the rubble which had collapsed all around my thoughts, my psyche.

Bren put arm on my shoulder, slid it down to my arm and began rubbing it, in an attempt to comfort me.

Eebu pulled the cards together and began reshuffling, she took a deep subtle breath, and blessed the cards again. Then she continued almost immediately.

"Since you have arrived here in Bali, you have attracted three spirits. One is a god of sorts, a goddess of wisdom, another is one who judges but protects, and the final one is an angel. You have a very strong link with this goddess of wisdom. She is with you as we speak and you greatly attract her attention!"

She continued without hesitation, "As far as your mission in this life, it has much to do with the test you are receiving now...and if it goes well, you will be rewarded in the time of Libra, you will understand only then."

"That's interesting, the trip ends in October," I thought.

"Brian, she wants to know if you have plans to go to the Land of the Lost any time in the future? She says she means, Egypt," Vivian sheepishly inquired with a look of genuine wonder. We had never shared our travel plans with anyone here in Indonesia, no one knew this was a world trip, let alone one that ended in Egypt. I was surprised at the question, but added, "Yes. In October actually."

Eebu began moving the cards around briskly.

"She says to make sure you go to the largest of the pyramids in the Land of the Lost. You have some connection with them, and she finds it humorous that God will place you there in October, the end of your trip and that it is a 'time of balance' for you. She thinks it is really funny. Irony has nothing on this one she says!"

There was that word again, irony. Faith, irony, fate, and God, these words were now swirling in my mind, in my body, and freely imprinting their distinct meaning on my soul, seemingly without my active participation.

"Finally, as far as your mission is concerned, she is confident you'll find it. You must listen, however, because many are talking to you, many are trying to help you, including these spirits here in Bali," Vivian was saying as Eebu finished by clearing the cards.

She looked drained. She sat back in her chair, slouching, lit a cigarette, and gave me a respectful smile. I didn't know how to react, I didn't know what to think...I just sat stunned on the edge of my stool in wonder.

"Wow, that was amazing, Brian," Vivian said to me, "are you okay?"

"I think so."

Bren didn't say a word.

"Eebu said that was the first reading she's ever had like that in all the years she's been doing this," Vivian said, "nothing like this ever—there are many around you now she says, something about your aura. But I don’t know what that means…"

"God’s testing me, I’m reincarnated, a goddess of wisdom is tailing me, they’re all around me, my aura and my journal’s still lost…what could be next?" I was thinking almost laughing to myself.

"Oh, she says that there is one final thing," Vivian began saying, "you must be cleansed. It's imperative. I think she's talking about a sort of baptism. She had a vision where it is to be done and she would like to help you in this pursuit. She says she'll even take a day off to help you accomplish this!"

I really didn't know what to say.

I rationalized that regardless what I believe eventually, it might be an interesting experience, and besides, she is an authentic person who's genuinely trying to help, I knew at least that. I knew I had to permit it to happen.

"Okay. But when does this need to happen?"

"She says the beginning of July."

"Oh, I don't think we can do that, it's June 18 now, that two weeks away. I don't think we can afford to stay here that long..." I was saying when Bren abruptly interjected, "We'll be here, we'll stay!"

I quickly glanced at her absolutely astonished. It was her first words in an hour. She gently grabbed my hand, held it and said nothing else.

"Fine then, we're scheduled for July 3, right here," Vivian said.

"Okay," I said hesitatingly.

"Brenda, is there anything you'd like to ask about?" Vivian gently inquired.

"No thanks!" Bren jumped.

"Are you sure?" I asked softly, and before the words even left my mouth she was already emphatically nodding her head up and down, "Oh, believe me, I'm positive!"

"Well, there is one final thing, she wants to remind you of the 5 days to get back the journal, and she recommends a way that won’t scare him. Maybe an ad in the newspaper," Vivian was saying, "but we can discuss that later."

And we all stood up to leave.

"She says that there is no guarantee on the bag, he is very scared," Vivian said, "and she keeps repeating that she fears he'll burn it all."

Nearly three hours had passed since we entered this tiny structure, and despite the small quarters and lack of air, when I walked back outside, the air felt heavy, stale. I even smelled something beyond the traditional aromas, something familiar, yet I couldn’t place it.

"It’s just my imagination," I thought as I verbally thanked Eebu and bowed. She bowed back and said, "You're welcome," in broken English.

I was emotionally drained, physically fatigued, I felt listless as we drove back to Kuta, all of us rode in stunned silence.

Eventually, Vivian broke the silence, "Brian, that was absolutely incredible! Wow. I can honestly tell you nothing like that has ever happened to me or William in the years we've been seeing her; in fact, I never heard of anything like that happening with her."

"It certainly takes the cake for bizarre happenings in my life, and I am not short on strange oddities either," I ventured with a chuckle.

"I mean this though, Brian," Vivian began saying as she put her hand on my arm from the seat in front of me, "I am worried about you. I've lived in Bali for over 10 years, and it has a penetrating energy. I could literally tell you story after story of people having gone stark raving mad here. In fact, I can recount two personally. It is an odd place in this respect. I don't really understand it as it affects everyone so differently, but I know it's definitely here. Try not to think about this stuff too much. Brenda, you'll have to take care of him for a while..."

"I know what you're saying but Vivian that seems a bit overstated," I returned.

"Maybe, but this place...this place grips you," Vivian said.

"That's funny you said that exact phrase, that's what Brian said to me after the end of our first night here," Bren added.

"Alright, enough...this stuff is all just freaking me out. It’s getting out of control," I said emphatically.

"You're not the only one freaked out!" Bren added.

"That's exactly what I'm talking about," Vivian said as we all drifted in an uncomfortable silence.

"Anyway," Vivian chimed in, "tomorrow, you'll need to place ads in the paper and maybe even some on the radio."

"Yeah, I agree. We'll do that first thing. Right now, however, I need a beer," I said.

"Oh yes!" Bren said rolling her eyes in wild emphasis, "come join us Vivian."

"I can't, it's so late now...thanks anyway."

She dropped us off in the heart of Kuta, where we said our good-byes and headed straight for a place to serve a couple of much-needed cold beers.

It was a day that exposed me to a different world, a realm so unlike the one we live in physically every day. Even as I slumped over my beer next to Bren in a small café, relaxing from the emotional and spiritual torrent, the day itself glowed. I knew it was an unusual day, one that would be special in my life, I didn’t know how or why but I could feel it intensely. Again, I thought about the pesky Pemberton Tree, and today was my pause a third of the way up. I knew that as much as I wanted to climb back down from this harrowing position on its rungs, and rationally dismiss the entire episode, I had to confront this aspect of "reality." I always possessed a spiritual side, but the logical mind, rational thought always controlled; my life was logical first, and it was the basis for my understanding of the world. Now, I had to confront the fear of peering into this obscure realm, this dimension of human existence that required so much more than thought, logic, or even the physical touch.

I remembered the first day in Bali, where the energy was so clear and palpable and how ignorant I felt as a result. Then, I didn’t understand why, but now I do, for I am bare. I’ve been uncovered, and my eyes look inward, deep into the soul of my being. Oh, the Grand Canyon was before me again, my distinct shadow upon its diversely colored walls. As my eyes now look inward, it’s a place that I’ve been afraid of, a place consumed with the intangibles of life, a place where those elements are oft unseen and untouched. The feelings I experienced during those three hours with Eebu were genuine and couldn’t just be rejected. The realm that lay beyond now plagues me, everything I thought I knew suddenly seemed to fade away. I didn’t know a damn thing after all; the education, the training, and the experience, in a flash all went out the window. Poof, it disappeared. Had I been "awakened" to reality or merely "paralyzed" from it?

What now tore at my inner being, however, was that I knew there were only two choices: believe or don’t believe. And that terrified me to the bone. It wasn’t right or wrong, logical or spiritual; no it was about the powers of belief, faith. I was once again at the partner’s desk, I had a choice, and this time, it would greatly alter the path of my life. Indeed, it was the squeaky hinge swinging for my entire life. Ironically, deep in Indonesia, half way across the world, I was back at the same starting point, and Mary hovered above me tenderly whispering, "Thanks Brian, thanks for restoring my faith."

Copyright © 1999 PbFisher. All rights reserved.