PREFACE

Within the glory lies pain, within the love lies sorrow, within the struggle lies freedom, and within the confusion lies hope.

             All questions do not have answers, but all answers must be accompanied by a corresponding question, and often, the question is more important than the answer. In this life upon earth, it is quite possible that the most we can ever hope to accomplish as human beings is to deftly ask the "right" questions. So how does one become a trailblazer toward denuding these hidden portals to expand our collective consciousness? A utopian picture of evolving Man is centered upon gaining perspective, generating awareness, and the acceptance of responsibility. And whether it exists in science, religion, law, medicine or philosophy, all ends begin here. This is where progress resides, in becoming a spiritual sojourner, one who embarks upon a wistful voyage to the dog-eared creases of space to sweep away the sands of ignorance and discover these plaguing questions. However, the foremost question is what will one sacrifice to this end? It is within this foggy notion of sacrifice that this journey begins, as an eclectic expedition to ascertain these questions concealed within the universe. For each of us must undertake this individual search and become the spiritual sojourner in order to advance the cause of Man and evolve within this realm and beyond.

Through this voyage, the hope is that you will be able to visualize and experience a piece of this oft incongruous realm, and even more, that it will bring clarity to the opening statement. So with the final words you will understand the first, and in the end what you believe that simple strand of words to mean will have been shaped by your own inward journey. For it is here within the "inner journey" that each of us expands our consciousness and creates a series of quodlibets to this soupy whirlpool of life. The book was not written to persuade you that any position is "correct," but rather to develop these philosophical questions where we begin to inhale awareness and understand the deeper reality of our existence here in earth. This is the essence of the book, for like life itself each of us possesses our own experiences that provide a unique perspective, a perspective that offers an individual the opportunity to make their independent contribution to the collective whole. It is this process of organic discovery and the spirit to contribute to each other and the world which, whether we know it or not, binds us all. It is within this bond that the destiny of humanity waits to be uncovered, for it waits for the magical touch of our interconnectedness to open the door and unlock our future. In this struggle for understanding and to reach a higher state of awareness, each can discover their own sense of significance, roam the golden path of our collective destiny, one gently cradled by pure, absolute faith. This is a Truth of the universe, and therefore, regardless of race, creed, nationality, or socioeconomic background, this holds true. Most importantly, one does not need to venture beyond even their comfortable vestibule to discover this universe, for the universe is already within and the answers await this inner probe. So, it is within this inner quest that we finally understand our divine purpose in this realm.

This spiritual quest, this vision of One, however, must begin with America. At present, America is the only nation with the combination of power, resources, and foundation of principles, for purging the soiled path humanity now treads. Unfortunately, America is at the turbulent core of this unstable world, for America is struggling to understand even itself. Americans are forlorn and they wallow within a circle of nebulous confusion that creates a natural by-product of rippling negative energy. It now spins so violently that many feel out of control, out of touch. America has become therefore merely a fragile bubble, waiting the fated day when the darkness rises from the bowels of its own creation and pops the hot air from its precious life. Indeed, America has become a place where the well-trodden path is merely a closet to avoid dealing with both, the oft-harsh realities and uncovering the veiled beauty, of living upon this delicate blue orb. Simply, we take this path of least resistance, one toward fulfilling the deluded vision of the materialistic American Dream. In this indiscriminate pursuit we have become a people who no longer seek from the profoundness of life and rather we abide by its chaotic tenets. We have become reactionary pawns rather than conscious actors controlling our destiny toward a collective purpose. As such, we fail to "see" beneath this haunting polluted illusion to embrace the Fibonaci spirals, the wispy strands of the pattern that organize the universe. And as a result, we now mindlessly dance within our own shadows and create even more chaos, which only hastens the insidious spin of our entropic fall.

It was here that this story began, because as we progressed upon our journey I became overwrought with the sad, fatalistic state of the world. This stunning revelation of choking chaos seized control and squeezed the precious life from my body. I felt suffocated with each breath, and this alarming realization triggered a struggle in which I wrestled with understanding this grand collection of people we call humanity. The world seemed to challenge me at every turn, and during these arduous times, it tortured and utterly vanquished my spirit. My thoughts and perceptions were instantly challenged, even altered, just by leaving the States and it left me feeling detached and alone. As the trip developed, the further we retreated from America, the more I recognized this ugly malady that currently pervades American life. And it became a string of seemingly never-ending yarn, because with each discovery even more seemed waiting on the horizon. And it all began inauspiciously with the state of America, because this vehicle to humanity’s spiritual revolution was blindly mired in cryptic disarray. Ironically, within the country containing the most expectation and hope lingered an atrophied core of ideals and principles. And the clearer this reality became, the more I felt alienated from my country and its people. It was this emotionally estranged state that precipitated this writing because I felt a penetrating trial breathing within me, that my every step inward was one away from my country. I felt that my state of mind lay in crippling opposition to America’s and one of us had to be in a state of utter insanity. So, as I assumed it was I who breathed the noxious lunacy, this book became my defense.

To discover a sense of Self and to promote those spiritual laws created by the universe, I knew that it had to begin with questioning the environment that fostered this seemingly vacuous being. It twisted and tortured me, like a dead, crumbling leaf falling from the safe hold of its branches, for indeed, I was merely a reactionary pawn. So, I desperately labored to understand, to confront the truth, and to comprehend the contorted perceptions I had of my home. Hopelessly jaded, my original perceptions and perspectives were ravenously torn and lifelessly fell away as I personally became even more bewildered than when I had left disillusioned. I then felt both physically and spiritually disconnected from my environment of creation—America, and the more I fed an already growing void, the more I lost my bearings and any sense of personal direction and purpose. I fell until I became the void itself. I was, at that moment, broken down to my barest elements; I was stripped of those components that created me, namely those critical aspects derived from American society. And in a world populated with billions of people, I felt abandoned and isolated, for it seemed that all I knew in my life had turned out to be some grand illusion. I was merely the puppet who glanced upward and for the first time saw his dangling strings. I was stung by an uncontrollable fit of laughter for this chimerical land had to be a seductive conspiracy designed for the entertainment of a select unknown few.

It was from Nature, ironically, the true hands of creation, that I finally began to gain a sense of focus. Torn from the bonds of country, I delved into this natural world for answers. Naturally, there were more questions than answers with these soft folds of attuning green, but I had finally embraced the rejuvenating warmth of the sun rising upon the golden horizon. It was from this Nature, this elegant firmament upon earth, that I discovered a sense of perpetuity and a deepened understanding of the soul within flesh. From this precious genesis, I began to challenge afresh my own attitudes, perspectives and ideals. I pushed for answers, and the result, contained the initial strands of discovering the entity beneath this mortal skin. However, this entity had been utterly molded by an oppressive environment, taught ritualistic desires to meet its primal needs, to find comfort in vanity and pride of a technological construct, and as a result, I saw my mirrored reflection as a fleshy manikin designed merely to sustain a material empire. It was within this struggle to break "free" that I found Self and finally bore a magical glimpse inside to its ethereal wonders. Profoundly, it then seemed that the clearer I saw inward, the more in focus the outside became. This window inward to my soul was plainly a window outward to the world around me, for it was an illuminated pattern within the chaos.

Unfortunately, that's when the essence of the struggle began, for much of what I discovered was deeply troubling, irrational, and at times, baffling. The pattern persisted, for the more my vision developed clarity the more insane and secluded I felt. Discontent and confused, I did the only thing I felt I could do and dove even further into the heart of Nature and the hearts of the people we encountered. It was here that I unexpectedly discovered the mass disillusionment of the people who occupy this planet. That is, we are all in search of something deeper and yet very few of us even understand ourselves, let alone are able to contribute back to the whole. Simply, we as human beings, fail to see inward. I became overwhelmed by this disenchantment with our existence, one that seemingly penetrated virtually every aspect of the trip. Everywhere I looked, this sharply pointed knife seemed to be poking at my beating heart, derisively taunting me. And at times, it even ruthlessly swallowed our encounters with the virtuous, spiritual, and insightful people we met along the way.

What would pierce this shattered glass of negativity and despair, however, was ironically the element that originally created the initial strands of the search within; indeed, it was the prompting basis for my own personal journey, the search for faith. So within this intense search for faith, I realized that one couldn't understand the world around them until first they understood what was inside. Much like life itself, faith was always there, lurking just beyond sight patiently waiting for us to open our eyes and behold the sanctity of this bond of humanity. It was within the tight-fisted grip of this basic search that I discovered my personal rolling river to the sparkling starry sky, for I discovered my destiny. However, this destiny turned out not to be a predetermined place set in time or space or a particular path toward a tangible goal, but rather a distinct state of consciousness. It was within this profound understanding, this awareness that inherently begged responsibility that I understood that an integral aspect was to bear the pain of this truth regardless of consequence. Individual responsibility lay subtly at the foot of my bed, wavering in the light of its being, waiting, and silently it offered me the choice to ingratiate myself into its lingering presence. I was now aware, prepared with the tools for insight, and to reject this resulting responsibility was to rebuff the cache of spiritual teachings uncovered during the journey. Even more, I realized that individual responsibility sometimes included taking a step without anyone else to follow. So, for what had become a pattern of my life, another life-altering decision persisted at the foot of my bed with the light of a new day, taunting me to make a decision, taunting me to accept responsibility. Yes, to step back to gain perspective and understanding, and then to step forward and confront my destiny and accept its blinding Truth.

Ultimately, I accepted this challenge and painfully concluded that America is deteriorating from within, and as such, it is on a fatally destructive path. After considering America's prominent place in the world, this path and its destructive course will undoubtedly have a devastating impact on western culture, and to an even more profound degree, on the world. We are changing, and with it, we are clearly changing the world. Unfortunately, we are not changing it for the better. This blind ignorance is more than mere oversight or even apathy, it is indeed reprehensible and we should and will be held accountable as a people who had it all and still couldn’t actually "change" the world for the betterment of humanity. It is here, however, that the separate elements of country, humanity, nature, science, spirituality and individual purpose coincide, because one cannot effectively be addressed without the other in this ever-growing interdependent world. Despite Western Culture’s most ardent efforts to conveniently compartmentalize the universe by separating these elements, they always were and always will be, pieces of the same interlocking puzzle. They are synchronous continuums of a singular Whole. So, to move forward as sentient beings, Americans must become the spiritual sojourner to discover the connectedness of these elements; otherwise we may never understand humanity or our purpose.

I feel personally responsible for this endeavor, not just as an American, but rather because I am an American. We are privileged to have the freedom to search and discover our talents, however latent, and put them to use in the best way we see fit. We are, more poignantly, literally limited in this world by only our self, and that is a blessing we all take for granted. This book, therefore, is a defense to the psychosis that afflicted me as the universe unveiled its pattern and freed my soul from its physical prison. In return, I realized that it was my responsibility to accept this path of freedom. Indeed, freedom and opportunity have become the cornerstone of America, the prominent symbols of what the human existence should represent; however, what are freedom and opportunity without the will to utilize it, to explore its beautiful edges, to give back, to seek truth, establish honor, and to jump out and take the risk to seek something more? Yes, what do we have, if we merely take for our own near-sighted gain with that freedom and opportunity? And what does it say for us as a people, as blessed Americans, as human beings, not to fully employ the gifts of freedom?

It seems that as an American it's always a complaint about what we don't have, or what America or even the world hasn't given us. Simply, the more we receive, the more we desire. I admit and accept responsibility for my personal contribution to this epidemic, this strangling thought and pattern of life we have so easily grown to accept. It has truly become ingrained in the psyche of America, it exists in our beings now and we see its ugly head every day. Our complacence, even apathy, our epicurean ways and insatiable appetite for material pleasures, have now literally stripped away any desire to change this destructive pattern, or worse, to even see the state of our country for what it has become or its direction. Nobody, especially in America, wants to rock that precious, seemingly stable, boat of comfortable life. Fewer and fewer of us make a stand for what we believe in, even fewer care enough to take a stand at all, and fewer still care enough to even listen. It has become a subtle, silent battle within America. Even worse, we are changing the world to this end. We have come to a crossroad in our existence, one that holds each of our souls in its unstable grip and waits to suck the life from our collective being. The darkness that rests within each of us has now been brought forth from its deepest bowels and holds hostage the truest parts of our beings. For we seek nothing here but justifications to use as props for our crystal illusion. I slowly came to learn along this journey that what you discover in life is generally limited by what you seek. That is, if you seek nothing, you will naturally find nothing. If your search is limited to something in particular, generally, what you find is confined to that perspective; it's restricted by what you sought. So our future is held delicately in our own hands, and in the terms of our divine search here on earth. As I understand this crucial keystone to existence, I am willing to step into the blinding light and bear the pain of this truth. I will stand at this precarious intersection of our existence and painfully confront that which I know looms, for I care about my children's future, I care about the plight of America, and most importantly, I care about humanity. So, my insane corpse now rises and stands to make this solemn sojourn into the abraded ropey fingers of our future.

Here lay my defense:

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